Updated: Dec 12, 2021
COP26 has been deemed a “resounding success” by scientists after former cabinet minister Nigel Huntington-Smith MP attended it in the capacity of his new second job as a professional eco-warrior.
Mr Huntington-Smith is MP for Warmington-on-Sleaze and served as Minister for Toadying in David Cameron’s cabinet. He is being paid Greta Thunberg’s pocket money for his new role.
“We all know that Tory MPs give their second jobs much more attention, care and effort than they do being an MP and are much more successful in them as a result,” one scientist said.
“I had thought that even with the promises being made at COP26 we were doomed, but now Mr Huntington-Smith is being paid to sort it out, it looks like it will be alright after all.”
The MP was previously known as a climate change sceptic and also holds roles advising a number of fossil fuel firms, but scientists are not worried about this. “We predict he’ll believe anything for the right price,” one said.
Following Mr Huntingdon-Smith’s appearance at the climate change summit, scientists revised their predictions to include global temperature increases to be at manageable levels, coal and gas to magically become clean and sustainable fuel, extinct species to return and net-zero to be reached in every country by Sunday teatime.
Meanwhile, Labour has become the latest political party to become involved in the scandal surrounding MP’s second jobs, after it emerged Keir Starmer is being paid to lead an opposition to the Government.
“I had no idea he was leading an opposition,” one outraged Labour voter in his constituency said. “He has kept that job very quiet – I haven’t seen him doing it all. It is a disgrace. We should have known he was supposed to be doing that when we voted for him.”