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Git the Younger to take over Warwickshire Council

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Warwickshire County Council was rocked this week by the resignation of its leader, Git the Elder, leaving his 18 year old deputy unexpectedly in charge.


Git the Younger, also from the Reform Party, said he’d do his best but had rather unfortunately become leader right in the middle of his exams.


He immediately demanded tougher sentences for geography teachers, and called upon the leader of the opposition to test him on his Latin vocab.


He also called for an end to Reform making policy decisions after a few jars down the pub, since the landlord refused to believe he was 18 and wouldn’t let him in. Unfortunately, party strategists said it was the only way to make sure Nigel Farage turned up.




London Council Announces Groundbreaking Plan to Ignore New Petition of 100,000 Signatures

Updated: Jun 20


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A well-known London Council, celebrated for persistently ignoring residents’ opinions on matters that deeply affect them has launched an innovative plan to completely ignore a new petition supported by 100.000 people.


“We are very excited to announce that we will be ignoring the petition of 100,000 signatures. But that's not all —we’ll also be ignoring any court result, public activism, environmentalists, and, in general... everyone.”


The council reassures that a comprehensive review process has been undertaken to ensure nobody has been listened to, no opinions have been considered and no voices have been heard.


“We will keep engaging with all residents to create more dialogue opportunities where no listening will be involved” , said the lead councillor. “This has only been possible thanks to all the public feedback initiatives that have been hosted with a deep sense of indifference”


“We really need to hear what community groups and local businesses have to say so we can be more precise when it comes to completely ignore them and implement our already made decisions”


“Even if some people may want to be heard, most of the people certainly want to be ignored, we can’t please everyone, can we” , said the councillor.


The governing body has also communicated the new plans for public consultations, where all community input will be recorded on scented paper and cute stationery, then used as wallpaper in the Town Hall, to ensure everyone feels a deep sense of belonging.


image from pixabay

author: Alba Late



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