“I can’t believe it,” said Terry Marsden, a 44-year-old wellness plasterer from Dagenham. “I came downstairs this morning and made myself the first cuppa of the day in the kitchen. I opened up the bifolds to the conservatory, sat down with the paper, and realised there was no roof. Worse than that, it was tanking down with rain. I looked up and realised the conservatory had completely gone — and I mean completely. All 4.0 x 5.5 m of it, including the responsibly sourced timber and 28 mm double glazing.
All I found was a note saying it had defected to Reform. If you ask me, it’s gone mental and I’m well rid of it.”
A Reform UK spokesfuhrer denied the conservatory was a waste of space. "Several lavatories have already defected and we welcome a senior conservatory to the ranks. This is exactly the kind of experience we need, together with fully insulated sandwich panels, if we are going to run the country."
