Resignation over Kabul withdrawal?

Rees-Mogg confident on finding yeti "soon"

Jacob Rees-Mogg has announced that he is mounting an expedition to photograph and, ideally, to capture the legendary yeti or abominable snowman.

"I decided to start easy.", explained Mr Rees-Mogg, "I'm popping off to the Himalayas tomorrow with my support team and I'm very confident that Nanny will easily spot an ape one third of a perch in height - she found Mr Teddy when he was lost."

"Obviously, I will be liaising with the Foreign Secretary. Mr Raab has informed me that the Himalayas are somewhere near Ceylon, so I will be catching an early carriage tomorrow as for certain logistical reasons, travelling through the small island of Europe has become rather problematic recently."

When asked how this expedition would affect his new job finding Brexit benefits, Mr Rees-Mogg paused, then said "I'm also planning a trip to Loch Ness."

Yeti Mountains Snow - Free photo on Pixabay

Boris Johnson off to see the Wizard of Oz, with Jacob Rees-Mogg and Dominic Raab

The Prime Minister today announced that he shall be setting off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, accompanied by Jacob "Tin Man" Rees-Mogg, and Dominic "Scarecrow" Raab, in order to secure help in the Tory Party finding it's way home. This was caused by a terrible storm of back-handers which physically lifted the Tory Party into the air and dropped it in what turned out to be familiar territory. On encountering the Wicked Witch of the Centre-Left, Kier Starmer, in the House of Con-Mens, Boris raised his fists shouting put 'em up, put 'em up, then ran off when Starmer actually did.

Rees-Mogg, famous for his caring attitude to victims of flammable cladding, and Raab, whose grasp of important import-export routes in the UK is the stuff of legend, will accompany Johnson in his quest. They hoped to be cheered on their way by The Back-Benchkins, but will not be joined by Nicola "Dorothy" Sturgeon, renowned for singing "somewhere over in Glasgow". Many of the Back-Benchkins are Friends of Dorothy, but are rather too coy to come out and say so.

They hope to make "much progress, very soon" but have been warned of the difficulties with border checks when trying to enter the home of the Wizard, The Emerald Isle.

Wizard Of Oz Poster Tin Man - Free photo on Pixabay

Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon

Something Similar	Perfect Christmas Gift	Something Different
Cluedo’s Rev Green released after 2016 conviction deemed to be 'unsafe'	​Print versions available now	Cast of It Ain't Half Hot, Mum to take charge of petrol crisis.