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The ongoing trade war between China and the Trump administration looks set to end abruptly after the Chinese government dealt Donald Trump a devastating blow. The Chinese government has purchased the majority shares in every single golf tee manufacturing company on the planet, and has decided to move all golf tee production to China.
With the new tariffs set by Trump, the price of a set of four standard golf tees has risen from around $3 to around $8. On top of that, China has decided to set a blanket export tax for all goods from China to the USA, of $20,000. Therefore, a set of four standard golf tees will cost the flatulent President, $20,008 each.
Upon receiving the news, and with no golf tees to take to Scotland when he visits the King on his second state visit to the UK, President Trump issued the following statement:
‘I love the Chinese. I love the Chinese people, I love the Chinese culture, I love the Chinese food. They’re a nation of great wall builders – fantastic walls. You know they have a wall you can see from space? With the naked eye, from space you can see their walls – fantastic walls – fantastic people. And crackers to die for – I love their crackers.
Honestly, I wish we could build walls like the Chinese – a very proud people. Very proud of their walls’.
The world waits and watches with baited breath to see what the results of this power move from the Chinese will be.
image from pixabay
Donald Trump has hailed a ground breaking trade deal with the Heard and McDonald Islands.
The President's trade envoy said that the penguins had proved to be tough negotiators. The US team found the penguins hard to contact and that there were communication barriers to overcome. 'Those penguins have an Ozzie accent - and they drive a hard bargain - and they are terrible at golf,' he joked. 'But we did make a deal.'
The core of the deal is an agreement that American exports of fish to the islands will have zero tariffs. In return, America will allow imports of penguin guano and penguin biscuits to be tariff free 'as long as those black and white frickers don't use Chinese cargo ships.'
Tariffs on steel, solar panels, semiconductors, electric cars, avocados and timber will remain at 25% . None of these items are currently produced by the penguins.
Donald Trump is ecstatic. 'I know how to do deals. This is a great deal for America and a great deal for the penguins. This is the first of many beautiful trade deals. So there is no reason for US markets to yo-yo up and down, making us all seasick, any more.'
image from pixabay
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