top of page
Search

Cleaner becomes PM because she's the only gov't member not to have to resign over Xmas party




Following news that the civil servant leading the inquiry into the 10 Downing Street Christmas party has resigned because he also organised an illegal Christmas party, everyone in government - MPs, Lords and civil servants alike - has admitted that they also attended illegal Christmas parties last year, and has resigned. It appears that the only person employed by the government who did not organise or attend an illegal Christmas party in 2020 is Downing Street cleaner Grace Richards, 27, who will now become Prime Minister and form a new government.


The Labour Party was initially approached for this role, but its leader Keir Starmer said that he fully supported the government's action, and so his party would resign also. The Liberal Democrat HQ was on answerphone "following a big night for us", and the SNP said that they had no interest in taking responsibility for "that shambles south of Gretna Green".


Ms Williams said she "would need to have a bit of a think" before announcing her Cabinet and programme for office, but suggested that "taking money out of billionaires' offshore bank accounts and putting it into the NHS, higher wages for key workers, and a lot more buses on the 29 route to Westminster" would be among her key policies.




How to tell if dozens of people are having a party in your house


Are you concerned that people might be holding parties in your house without you knowing? Here are 10 tell tale signs to spot secret party nightmares:


  1. Are there people arriving at your house dressed in sparkly jumpers, holding bottles of booze and asking about the "meeting"?

  2. Do you bump into strangers on the stairs who insist on putting their arm around you and saying "I bloody love you."?

  3. Does your wife say things like "I hope the party doesn't damage the new decorations."?

  4. Are there photocopies of bottoms dotted around the room? Ones that you don't recognise as your own?

  5. When you're upstairs, do you hear the occasional strains of "Hi Ho Silver Lining" coming from downstairs?

  6. Is there a pile of coats in the spare room?

  7. When you walk across the room, are there a lot of dancing people in the way?

  8. Does some of your colleagues work look like it was written as part of a drinking game?

  9. Do some people keep asking you annoying questions about a party?

  10. Are you at a party right now?





bottom of page