• Home

  • Captions

  • About

  • All News

  • Writers' Room

  • Writer of the Month

  • Podcast

  • Shop

  • More

    Use tab to navigate through the menu items.

    NewsBiscuit

    The UK’s original fake news

    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram
    • IconFlip
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • RSS
    Logo4_edited_edited.png
    • All Posts
    • Front Page
    • News in Brief
    • Headlines
    • Features
    • From the Archive
    • Caption Competition
    • Cartoons
    • Politics
    • Sport/Entertainment
    • Lifestyle
    • Science/Business
    • Local News
    Search
    • Chipchase
      • Mar 14
      • 1 min read

    Dr Who is 'pure shite' claims new study

    Updated: Mar 15


    A new study has slammed Dr Who as being "pure shite". Furthermore it goes on to claim it’s only fear of being seen as uncool that stops most people saying what they really think.


    One Sci Fi superfan, Simon Carter, said: ‘If I’m being completely honest Dr Who is very much the “Crossroads” of the genre. Its rather stiff, starchy and quintessentially drab British vibe, not to mention shonky special effects, looking like they cost about one pound-fifty per episode, are to blame.


    ‘Compared to Star Trek it’s dire. But because of the massive hype surrounding the show's puzzling longevity, it’s become completely taboo to slag it off, in much the same way as one daren't even think about criticising athletes since the London 2012; especially the Brownlee Brothers.’


    However, Whovian Society Secretary and self-styled Emperor Grombitz of Glarg, Albert Tompkins-Harris, has hit back: ‘DW is a fabulous programme with amazing stories and production values. Were I to choose a phrase to sum it up it would have to be "utter Daleks".'


    photo: https://pixabay.com/users/aitoff-388338/

    • News in Brief
    293 views0 comments
    • Wrenfoe
      • Jan 26
      • 1 min read

    Next Dr. Who/James Bond shortlist down to 50 million



    The entire adult population of the UK is still in the running for both iconic roles, all with the necessary acting talent, all except for James Corden.


    The fact that anyone could be considered, is a tribute to diversity casting but also a comment on how sh$t Idris Elba’s agent is. Asked about the millions listed, one Producer said: ‘That’s slightly shorter than an NHS waiting list’.


    Image: Pixabay/Tumisu

    • News in Brief
    • •
    • Sport/Entertainment
    72 views0 comments
    • NewsBiscuit
      • Nov 28, 2021
      • 1 min read

    First woman to reach adulthood without committing crime says it's all thanks to Doctor Who



    A major milestone was reached yesterday as Annie Briggs from Stevenage became the first woman in history to reach adulthood without committing a single crime. She believes that growing up with a female lead in the only show on television was key to keeping her on the straight and narrow. 'I'm very proud to have achieved this milestone for women,' Briggs said at a special press conference, 'and I owe it all to Jodie Whittaker for playing Doctor Who on TV. Before that, we thought that the moral principles of a fictional time lord could only apply to men, so I might as well just go and kill someone, but now thanks to Jodie we know it's actually women they apply to exclusively.' The news provides a much needed positive boost as society continues to struggle with the sudden onslaught of roaming gangs of young men who, bereft of male role models on television, have taken to the streets looting, murdering and making ritual sacrifices to the Kray twins.

    image from pixabay


    Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon

    Something Similar

    eBook, paperback or hardback

    Something Different







    Dr Who is a woman so it’s a life of crime for me, says boy, 8

    Make someone happy this Christmas

    Suspicious package at Manchester Airport was not Matt Hancock in Speedos





    • News in Brief
    190 views0 comments
    1
    2

    Back to Top

    Subscribe for updates

    Thanks for submitting!

    • Home
    • Captions
    • About
    • All News
    • Writers' Room
    • Writer of the Month
    • Podcast
    • Shop
    • IconFlip
    • RSS
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram

    NewsBiscuit on Flipboard

    © 2023 NewsBiscuit