The BBC has confirmed that an expensive Christmas special will not now be shown. A spokesman said, 'Russell T has made the plotline entirely too weird. Fans will not accept that the next Doctor is a combination of Billy Piper's body, Tom Baker's voice and the holographic face of William Hartnell. Nor will they accept a cross between Kryten from Red Dwarf, Orac from Blake's Seven, and an openly trans gay black naked llama as the next companion. Now that we've lost the Disney money, the only part of that that's affordable is Orac.
'We understand that the production company confidently expects to receive new and passably decent scripts real soon now. They are apparently being sent from the future by true believers in the franchise. The new scripts will resolve all the current plot holes, bring back the Daleks in a form that means the can use keyboards, coffee machines and all sorts. And the new scripts will appeal to young and old, be scary but not too scary, and will have a lot less gay stuff going on.
A production assistant is waiting for the new scripts by the fax machine, right now. At least I think it's a fax machine. Did it just move...?
