Vandals in the Lincolnshire town town of Grantham have been heavily criticised for the time it took them to deface a bronze statue of Margaret Thatcher, when two whole hours had dragged by before people eventually started throwing eggs at the 15ft monstrosity.
Egg thrower Jason Beesley later apologised for not defacing the monument sooner but said it had been installed early on a Sunday morning and it had been difficult to source objects to throw at the former prime minister.
‘Sorry mate’ said Beesley ‘but eggs is all we had at the time. We will of course be lobbing pots of blue paint at the witch once B&Q are open. We realise two hours is an unacceptable time to have to wait…..ironically we had to get the eggs from a food bank as the corner shop formerly owned by the Thatcher family was forced out of business by the local supermarkets.
'As a former grocer’s daughter, I’m sure Thatcher would have approved of being defaced by our locally sourced eggs’.
Local businesses were said to be delighted that the memorial had eventually been erected and hoped it would attract other vandals to the town. A number of boarded up shops nearby have recently been sold and demand for eggs has gone through the roof.
Plans to hold an annual egg throwing contest are already under way in the little market town. The contest promises to be a ‘fun day out’ for all the family and over 10,000 former NUM members have already signed up for a chance to be the first official egg-thrower.
'Ironically, the demand for miners has never been greater' said Beesley 'a whole new industry dedicated purely to defacing Thatcher's memorial has been created. So you see....despite what she said, there really is such a thing as society after all'.
First published 17 May 2022
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