It must be approaching the silly season or newspapers are fed up with printing BoJo stories. In any event yet another ‘unknown’ dinosaur species has allegedly been discovered in the Solent archipelago. A leading dinosaur expert was approached for comment:-
'To be honest I am getting a bit pissed off with what appears to be a non-stop stream of new discoveries in what to be honest is a piddly little island that people only visit when accidently getting on the wrong boat at Portsmouth.
'I’ve had my suspicions for some time as to whether these are in fact genuine. I wouldn’t be surprised if the natives are trying to duplicate the Piltdown Hoax in a desperate attempt to lure tourists. And I don’t rule out the involvement of the Isle of Wight’s answer to Banksy – Wrenfoey.
'You have to ask yourself the question why would dinosaurs have ever wanted to come to the Isle of Wight in the first place. Even today asylum seekers steer well clear.'
A six month strike by astrologers has started to affect the chronically indecisive.
Regular customer, Sue Kerr explained, 'Without Madam Charlotte En's regular horoscope, I'm finding it very difficult to make tentative decisions. I met a chap the other day at work, without my daily dose of sage advise. I had no idea whether to be cautious about taking things the next level and ended up getting off at the wrong floor in the office.'