Wealthy people have confirmed that poor people can definitely pull themselves up by their bootstraps, even though doing this in reality would only cause them to hurt their feet and fall over on to the ground or into debt.
'I've got millions and I'm fine' confirmed one millionaire, somewhat unnecessarily. 'Cutting my taxes is the only logical thing to do. Otherwise the government will only spend the money on public services for the disgusting masses. I can afford everything I'll ever need, but I want more and I'm not afraid to shut a few libraries and fan the flames of far right rhetoric to get it.'
'Creating jobs with my money is hard, so instead I'm going to hoard the cash and blame immigrants.'
A statement issued on behalf of all economists everywhere said 'Yep.'
