Liverpool FC were today faced with injury problems to their new star South American signing when he pulled a hamstring by trying to kick the football.
‘I found myself in the opposition box, with the ball,’ Guacamole Nacho told reporters after the match. ‘I was about to throw myself to the ground, like we practiced in training, but I noticed the goalie was out of position and I thought “What the hell? Why not just score a goal?”
‘I know it’s unusual here, but to be honest, at my old club we did this all the time.’
Unfortunately, whilst the club’s players are highly skilled at hitting the ground and rolling to avoid injuries, all the time feigning terrible injuries which miraculously get better the moment they’re awarded a penalty, it turns out that kicking a football requires an entirely different set of muscles.
‘We’d have to completely rethink our whole training programme, warmups and stretches if this ever caught on,’ said the team’s physio. ‘Luckily the other players all saw what happened to Guac, so I can’t imagine they’ll ever try it themselves.
’This is why we don’t recruit players from the local population. Give them a chance spend months off work with an injury but still get paid, we’d never have 11 men fit enough to play on a Saturday.’
Image: jarmoluk - Pixabay
