Zia Yusuf horrified that some people are from abroad

Senior Reform figure Zia Yusuf has expressed his horror at discovering that some people currently in Britain are from abroad.

Specifically, he said he was concerned about Sagal Abdi-Wali, the Somali-born candidate he said was being “foisted” on the people of Holborn by Labour.

His tweet ended “Do you understand what’s happening?”, a question he later elaborated on in discussion with party workers.

“Everywhere you look, you see people who aren’t from here,” he lamented. “And hearing them speaking Polish on the train, like comrade Nigel did, isn’t the worst of it. Some of them even have dark skin.”

He went on to say it was just as bad in Sri Lanka, where his parents are from. “Full of Indians - they really get everywhere, don’t they…”

Meanwhile the people of Holborn and St Pancras decided that they wanted Abdi-Wali as their MP, as she’s done such a good job running Camden council for years, rather than joining Reform to act as window-dressing to allow them to pretend they aren’t what they obviously are.

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com

Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here

Trump imposes tariffs on himself

Donald Trump has decided to impose a $1bn tariff on himself.

In a move showing the ultimate patriotism, the US president says he personally must pay the sum each time he travels abroad.

“It’s a big, beautiful piece of legislation,” Trump told a Republican rally.

“When this guy Trump, who’s actually nasty, visits another country, he’s gonna have to pay this beautiful fee.

“We’ve relied for too long on presidents whose mothers were born abroad. Now we’re fighting back.”

The shock moves comes in the midst of a legal battle of Trump’s plan to impose tariffs on countries such as China.

Leaked reports suggest one idea was to build a wall around the White House. However, it was deemed “too light and fluffy” by Pentagon officials.

Crowds at the rally reacted positively to the tariff plan, with one section chanting: “Lock him up! Lock him up!”

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit,com

We'll make motorbikes right-hand drive again, Tories pledge

"For years, governments have kow-towed to the barmy directives of the European Court of Justice and accepted left-hand drive motorbikes on British roads," ranted Conservative transport spokesman, Terry Speedway.

"That's not only humiliating, it's downright dangerous for road users," Speedway continued.

"We demand that from now on, good British firms like Triumph and Norton make only right-hand drive models.

"And we'll also force filthy foreign imports like Vespas and Kawasakis to be right-hand drive, as well."

"The Tories are revving up the rhetoric on this because they're running scared of Reform," said Labour's Dirk Fuel-Cap in response.

"Well, we can run even scareder. That's why we'll be forcing all mopeds, e-scooters, push bikes and pedalos to be right-hand drive, as well."

Speaking from a Build-a-Bear workshop in Shepherd's Bush, where he was constructing an Evel Knievel koala, Sir Ed Davey said: "We in the Lib Dems won't be joining this race to the bottom.

"We want neither right-hand drive or left-hand drive motorbikes, but something in the middle."

image from pixabay