Trump imposes tariffs on himself

Donald Trump has decided to impose a $1bn tariff on himself.

In a move showing the ultimate patriotism, the US president says he personally must pay the sum each time he travels abroad.

“It’s a big, beautiful piece of legislation,” Trump told a Republican rally.

“When this guy Trump, who’s actually nasty, visits another country, he’s gonna have to pay this beautiful fee.

“We’ve relied for too long on presidents whose mothers were born abroad. Now we’re fighting back.”

The shock moves comes in the midst of a legal battle of Trump’s plan to impose tariffs on countries such as China.

Leaked reports suggest one idea was to build a wall around the White House. However, it was deemed “too light and fluffy” by Pentagon officials.

Crowds at the rally reacted positively to the tariff plan, with one section chanting: “Lock him up! Lock him up!”

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit,com

We'll make motorbikes right-hand drive again, Tories pledge

"For years, governments have kow-towed to the barmy directives of the European Court of Justice and accepted left-hand drive motorbikes on British roads," ranted Conservative transport spokesman, Terry Speedway.

"That's not only humiliating, it's downright dangerous for road users," Speedway continued.

"We demand that from now on, good British firms like Triumph and Norton make only right-hand drive models.

"And we'll also force filthy foreign imports like Vespas and Kawasakis to be right-hand drive, as well."

"The Tories are revving up the rhetoric on this because they're running scared of Reform," said Labour's Dirk Fuel-Cap in response.

"Well, we can run even scareder. That's why we'll be forcing all mopeds, e-scooters, push bikes and pedalos to be right-hand drive, as well."

Speaking from a Build-a-Bear workshop in Shepherd's Bush, where he was constructing an Evel Knievel koala, Sir Ed Davey said: "We in the Lib Dems won't be joining this race to the bottom.

"We want neither right-hand drive or left-hand drive motorbikes, but something in the middle."

image from pixabay

Trump Wants Foreign Movies Tariffs.. For A Few Dollars More

.