Harry and Meghan Sussex celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary this month.
Traditionally, the seventh wedding anniversary is celebrated by gifts of wool. Or is it Formica? No, it's definitely wool.
Harry will be giving Meghan wool, so that she can pull it over the eyes of Netflix executives, who've paid out tens of millions of dollars for some of the duffest TV shows ever.
Meghan will be giving Harry wool, so that he can pull it over the eyes of the British who are supposed to always love him, despite the kiss and tell book, the kiss and tell TV shows, the dodgy charity work and the constant moaning about his Dad, his brother, his brother's wife, his Stepmum and so on. Basically the entire royal family. And the British press. And the British legal system.
We expect that Meghan will sell some of the wool on her lifestyle website. So If you'd like to have Meghan's wool pulled over your eyes, then now's your chance.
Are you stupid enough to pay $700 plus postage and package for some wool? Well, are you, punk?
Picture credit: Wix AI
King Charles is reported to be horrified at Harry’s disastrous problems with the Sentabale charity.
Sources report him as saying, ‘This is pretty basic stuff.  Charity work is the third most important thing about being royal. And he’s making a pig’s ear of it.
‘The first and second most important things about being royal are, number one, smiling.  Closely followed by number two, waving. Mind you, that lad was only ever adequate at smiling and only satisfactory at waving.
‘He has probably exhausted himself with that smiling and waving, and that’s probably why he’s made such a mess of the charity work. And it’s with a charity that is closely associated with his mother, for goodness’ sake. That boy is such an idiot. And I don’t suppose that She Who Must Not Be Named has done anything to help Harry either. Heavens above. What a shit show. Is that the expression? Not something Mummy ever used to say.
‘And don’t tell anyone I said that.’
Image credit: Wix AI