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The White House today confirmed that President Trump has signed an executive order authorising action against small boats of immigrants who are ruining the country's way of life.


'I built The Wall to keep out all the millions of immigrants who were coming in to our beautiful nation. And I took steps, giant steps, to expel those criminals who had arrived earlier under other presidencies who weren't as tough and strong as I have needed to be,' announced President Trump at a press conference.


'The next step is to use our naval, sea, marine and water-based forces to protect our coastline against the drug dealers, and evil, bad people trying to arrive through that route.


'The key to this is that anyone who has landed here, and I don't care how long ago, will also be sent back to the countries they came from. And these countries will pay the cost of the transportation. In fact, for anyone who has been here for a while, I will charge them interest on the wealth they have gathered at America's expense, before they leave. This is American money and property and it belongs right here in America.


'I am committed to expelling all these evil people who have simply expected to get America handed to them as soon as they stepped off their little boats. And we have been tracking them all along. I have already asked the Chief of Naval Operations and the Secretary of the Navy to prepare a list of known foreign immigrant-carrying boats so that we can start work straightaway, exiling these people and their families and descendants. And I have it right here.


'Say, Joe, can you pass me that report ...'


"OK. Here we go. Top of the list, this is where the clean-up begins. If you, or your people came on these boats, get packing now. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria


Photo by Peter Muscutt on Unsplash



Home officials have announced that whilst most migrant hotels will close over the coming months, a new 5 Star migrant hotel experience will be available for 'our most special guests'.


"Whilst we are trying to shift focus away from the political and actual cost of the small boats", said Jez Danworth, a home office spokesperson, "we are today announcing a service for migrants that come across on massive boats with significantly more resources than those that came before."


Mr Danworth detailed the service that, when the massive boat gets into UK waters, will include a meet and greet with a named Government official; a 5 star hotel experience (including a Spa and wellness service); preferential tax arrangements on all UK investment; and a 'look the other way' policy for some of the migrants more 'earthly needs'.


The service is likely to be available before Christmas and, due to increasing demand, has been made available to our neighbours from the west as well as the east.


image from google gemini

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