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Reform says that Frankie, the Caribbean flamingo that recently escaped from Paradise Park Wildlife Sanctuary in Hayle, Cornwall, on 2 November, should be prosecuted.


After the escape the bird was seen a few days later in Goulven Bay in northern France where it appears to have settled, no doubt attracted by the wide availability of baguettes and croissants.


A Reform spokesperson said: 'Obviously she’s a free-spirited thing, much like our leader, but that doesn't give her the right to fly roughshod over the UK’s admittedly ramshackle immigration laws. If she thinks she can just bugger off to France like she’s on some Tui holiday, then she has another thing coming.


'As I understand it, she has been living in Cornwall for two years without the relevant paperwork, and just amusing tourists by catching the odd fish and balancing on one leg. Or is that a heron? Whatever. She hasn’t been contributing. Anyhow, she's France’s problem now and hopefully she won’t come back.'


But the French aren’t happy either. The mayor of Goulven said: 'Our resources are already stretched by

les petits bateaux’ [literally ‘the little cakes’] and we have no easy way of sending Frankie home. But I guess if push comes to shove, we can always make her prime minister.'


Photo by Lex Melony on Unsplash



The White House today confirmed that President Trump has signed an executive order authorising action against small boats of immigrants who are ruining the country's way of life.


'I built The Wall to keep out all the millions of immigrants who were coming in to our beautiful nation. And I took steps, giant steps, to expel those criminals who had arrived earlier under other presidencies who weren't as tough and strong as I have needed to be,' announced President Trump at a press conference.


'The next step is to use our naval, sea, marine and water-based forces to protect our coastline against the drug dealers, and evil, bad people trying to arrive through that route.


'The key to this is that anyone who has landed here, and I don't care how long ago, will also be sent back to the countries they came from. And these countries will pay the cost of the transportation. In fact, for anyone who has been here for a while, I will charge them interest on the wealth they have gathered at America's expense, before they leave. This is American money and property and it belongs right here in America.


'I am committed to expelling all these evil people who have simply expected to get America handed to them as soon as they stepped off their little boats. And we have been tracking them all along. I have already asked the Chief of Naval Operations and the Secretary of the Navy to prepare a list of known foreign immigrant-carrying boats so that we can start work straightaway, exiling these people and their families and descendants. And I have it right here.


'Say, Joe, can you pass me that report ...'


"OK. Here we go. Top of the list, this is where the clean-up begins. If you, or your people came on these boats, get packing now. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria


Photo by Peter Muscutt on Unsplash


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