The Indian cricket board has 'regretfully' announced that they cannot field a team for the final Test Match at Old Trafford, because they are 2-1 up in the series, and their players want to get home to somewhere with decent weather, perhaps a beach, and put their feet up before the highly lucrative Indian Premier League starts in two weeks' time.
It is understood that the England and Wales Cricket Board stands to lose £20 million, while the IPL is worth £300m to the Bank of Credit and Commerce International - whoops, Board of Control of Cricket India. Or rather, it is now worth £280 million after the ECB changed the status of the match from 'forfeited by India, series drawn 2-2' to 'cancelled, India win the series 2-1' in the early hours of this morning.
Meanwhile, some of the backroom staff have unfortunately tested positive for COVID, none of the actual players have, but as a spokesperson shouted from a taxi on the way to the airport. 'You can't be too careful eh?'