Iran has cut off the internet to its people, prompting wide scale outrage online-which fortunately they don't have to read. Influencers and chat rooms have been furious, while most Iranians read a good book.
This clampdown on CIA sponsored unrest, has meant no spam mail, no clickbait and no toxic posts by Donald Trump. Said one Iranian. 'I know I should miss all that online "democracy", but I now have an extra six hours a day with my friends and family. "
One US General said 'Iranians can't appreciate freedom, unless they are on their cell phones 24/7, in debt to Amazon and monitored by Palantir. How they going to know that America is the greatest if they can't hear Mr Beast?"
With the Iranian regime at an inflection point, the Ayatollah has reached out to former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson for help.
'We are concerned that the insurgency will succeed, so we need to destabilise it before it is too late,' said a spokesman for the regime. 'The last time Boris intervened he resulted in the arrest of a British subject who was on the cusp of being allowed home. That's the kind of incompetence we require. We are begging Mr Johnson to interfere with the insurgents, advise them what to say and do and hopefully this will be over in a couple of days with thousands of insurgents safely in jail, just how we like it,' he added.
A spokesman for Mr Johnson said the request was an abomination and a terrible idea. 'Did they mention how much?' he asked.