ITV | NewsBiscuit

Postman Pat book makes Booker Prize long list

deskpilot
Jul 31

'We absolutely must reflect every reader and books of all kinds,' said the extravagantly cardiganned Booker rep. 'And we are determined to make reading accessible for everyone, including seven-year-olds.

'We haven't long-listed this Postman Pat epic because of woke inclusion and diversity nonsense, it's because this book is what we call in the trade, a belter. Although we do obviously welcome the revelation that Pat's famous black and white cat is LGBTQ+. This book is on the list for merit alone and not as a cheap publicity stunt, although the media coverage is very welcome.

The character development, narrative arc and plot have echoes of Chandler, Ishiguro, Fleming (Alexander, not Ian), and Jacqueline Wilson. The book deals unflinchingly with dementia, memory loss, inappropriate behaviour, social media pile-ons, sexually transmitted disease, and the crisis in Gaza. It packs a lot in. The book has trigger warnings for cats, uniforms, rural isolation, suicidal thoughts, animal harm, unsafe driving, unrealistic expectations, privatisation, and inappropriate language (for 7-year-olds).

'It is, overall, a hard hitting, but charming, read. At risking of spoiling the denouement, I was very relieved that the missing letters were found in the end, and that they were delivered safely. This was, in no small part, due to the good work of a certain formerly-black but now rainbow-coloured cat.

'It is a relatively short read at 24 pages, and it is true that we don't usually admit books with so many pictures. But this is a meritocracy, so Go Pat!

'Anyway, I was asked about the book's chances of making it from the long list to the Booker short list. To be honest, I'm surprised you even asked.'

www.newsbiscuit.com

Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.

Recap at start of TV crime drama bears no relation to plot at all

ChrisF
Jul 12

The 'Previously..' segment at the start of episode 4 of an ITV crime drama bears frustratingly little connection to what you've watched over the last 3 episodes, and is actually making you question your memory and sanity, it has been confirmed.

The plot of 'Gone for Good' seems relatively straightforward and you were quite enjoying it - a slow-burning 6 parter, about a seemingly sociopathic doctor who is the prime suspect in the murder of his wife and the guy she was having an affair with.

Featuring a dogged female detective with problems of her own in her personal life, but who develops a begrudging respect for the beleaguered doctor and his wayward son, you have been wondering, like the detective - maybe he isn't guilty after all, despite what the rest of the CID team think, as well as the dryly humorous pathologist, and wacky IT specialist.

Yet the recaps at the start of each episode are annoyingly missing out a lot of the key details about the story so far, and - hold on, that snippet of conversation they've just replayed was actually said in a different way in episode 3 wasn't it? And the doctor actually said 'you need a long rest, mate' to one of his patients in episode 1, not dubbed over the footage of him standing over his best mate in episode 2 after discovering him lying in a pool of blood with an axe in his head.

And, haven't they just mixed up the order of things - that restaurant scene with the detective and the slightly odd GP's receptionist that she's known for years was in episode 2, and yet the brick being thrown through the police detective's window that they cut to straight after the restaurant in the recap - that was in the opening episode wasn't it?

And why the hell are they focusing for 30 seconds in this recap on some random guy that was only in episode 2 in the background scene digging a big hole in the woods in the dark of night and looking really pained, can they not just focus on things that are important to know!

image from Google Gemini

www.newsbiscuit.com

Sky offer £1.6bn not to watch re-runs of Surprise Surprise

Wrenfoe
Jul 7

Despite signalling their intentions to buy ITV, Sky executives have made it clear that they will pay anything to avoid Cilla Black singing. Said one, ‘We want a streaming service, not a sewage pump. For every Brideshead Revisited there are thirteen seasons of Love Island we have to delete first. For every Downtown Abbey there is a…well…another Downtown Abbey.’

The majority of the £1.6bn will be spent on kerosine and a large box of matches, as much of ITV’s content will be lovingly archived as part of a barbeque. They will of course retain the best bits-which is the Granda logo, a signed photograph from the cast of ‘On the Buses’ and Phillip Schofield’s leaver’s card.

‘We’ll keep a few family favourites, like Jeremy Kyle driving people to suicide and the animal cruelty from ‘I’m a Celebrity…’. But our many focus will be turning Coronation Street into a global brand, or failing that, a cute box of chocolates. Oh, and we’ll keep the adverts, we love the adverts.’

image from Grok

Back to Top