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The son of a recently deceased former BBC executive has discovered several previously unseen episodes of Jim’ll Touch It from 1975 hidden in a box in his late father’s shed.


The popular Saturday night programme saw members of the public being ushered into a dark room at the BBC Television Centre, while producers and TV executives looked the other way.


What happened in the room was never made clear, as hardly any contestants wanted to talk about it afterwards. However they all left with the much cherished ‘Jim Touched It For Me’ medal and a haunted look in their eye.


Very few copies of Jim’ll Touch It survive, due to the BBC’s former policy of recording over previously used tapes to save vital costs and ensure all incriminating evidence was properly covered up.


Head of BBC archives Colin Wimblington said “The discovery of these missing episodes is a rare and wonderful opportunity to relive one of the most popular scandals in the BBC’s long and illustrious history of scandals.”


A special gala night of viewing is being planned, as BBC2 will show these episodes for the first time. Other treats on offer will include clips of some of the best controversial BBC moments, such as Martin Bashir’s 1995 interview with Princess Diana, a 30 minute montage of Fiona Bruce’s rampant Hitlerian rhetoric, that thing with Cliff Richard and the helicopters, and worst of all BBC scandals, fly on the wall footage of the meeting in which someone decided to give Michael McIntyre his own TV show.


Greengrocer








The Prime Minister has apologised for being filmed in a car whilst not wearing a seatbelt, but says the reason was to show the party has moved on from its previous close association with Jimmy Savile.


Younger readers may be unaware of Savile's notorious Clunk-Click TV campaign, which ensured the children he accosted would be unable to escape his clutches in a hurry.


Older readers will be aware of Savile rarely being outside the company of Margaret Thatcher, so we asked Sunak whether the party wishes also to distance itself from her, but were unable to get a convincing answer over the sound of Thatcher's body spinning in its grave, tunnelling directly into hell.


A No.10 adviser did tell us that they are continually getting mail addressed to Savile from Friends Reunited, which they return, after writing "Now then, now then, not known at this address" on the envelope. 'Perhaps they think we're lying.' he muttered.


The advisor also formally denied rumours that the PM is a patronising AI chatbot gone rogue, adding 'Is there anything else I can help you with today? Oh, the cost of living crisis? Rishi'll fix it.'



'Now then, now then, now then, what have we here? I have received this letter from a young man who has asked me to do something very special for him. This is what he says: "Dear Jim, Please, please, please can you fix it for me to get rid of that nasty Boris Johnson so that we can have an even worse Prime Minister?"


'Well, young man, your uncle Jim is here to make your dreams come true. Luckily for you, 53 other young people have written to me with exactly the same request, so let's watch this video together to see how they all got on at the 1922 Committee...'


Image: many thanks to the Conservative Party

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