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The Transport Secretary made it clear she was resigning on a point of whimsy rather than principal. 'Yes, I could have quit over all the warmongering, corruption, abuse of the elderly and vulnerable, but that would have seen like an admission of guilt. This way I get to do a 'sorry, not sorry' farewell and I'll be back in the Cabinet faster than a tramp on chips!'


This is the first high profile resignation from the Starmer government, if you ignore the sense of resignation felt by the electorate. Yet, it is not the first time Labour has had to apologise for something they did not do, their manifesto being a case in point. Said one voter: 'Why delay the inevitable? Eventually every Minister has to resign due to a sex or money scandal. It's like a. political bikini wax. Nobody wants it but you might as well get it over quickly.'


Others have criticised her for playing her 'get out of jail' card too early.


Resigning now cannot protect you later, particularly if you get chummy with an international sex trafficker - just ask Peter Mandelson. Obviously don't ask Mr. Mandelson, directly. He has lawyers.


Image: Wix AI




Keir Starmer has been forced to deny interfering in a foreign election, despite definitely interfering in a foreign election. In his defense, there were plenty of foreigners interfering with his own election, so really this is just Kama for Kamala.


Using Labour's winning strategy may not be so effective, as no one in the US cares that Harris is not Jeremy Corbyn. Plus, the Democrats have struggled to explain why Kamala Harris is cutting winter fuel allowance and now has a season ticket to Arsenal.


Hundreds of staffers have been sent to key swing states, in the hope that invading Brits will be as popular as they were 250 years ago. Said one activist: 'We hope to make Harris as popular as Starmer.' So she is going to win, right? 'That's not what I said.'


Photo by Stephen Mease on Unsplash

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