Roast Liz for Christmas

M&S is looking to repeat the success of its Colin The Caterpillar cake - the one that vanquished Aldi's inferior copycat Cuthbert cake in the courts.

The M&S super premium 'You're So Worth It' Christmas dinner range now includes Liz the Lettuce. Liz is prepared according to a Nigella recipe and is supplied ready for roasting. Just drizzle with truffle oil and whack her in the oven. It's the perfect accompaniment to the M&S Kwasi the Turkey, which has just the one wing, on the right.

A spokes-elf said, 'Everyone will love roasting Liz this Christmas. We know the price is a disgrace, but It's what she would have wanted.'

Image credit: perchance.org

Truss aims to become Premier League boss

Liz Truss has announced her intention to become a Premier League manager.

Following her controversial attempt to sue Sir Keir Starmer for saying she crashed the economy, the former Prime Minister, has decided to move from politics to the world of football.

Truss is said to be targeting the vacant job at Everton, following the sacking of manager Sean Dyche.

But wherever she ends up, her main aim is to increase the number of home-grown players.

“We import two-thirds of our footballers. That is a disgrace,” said Truss, speaking at the launch of her campaign.

Typically confusingly, she added: “This month I’ll be in Beijing, opening up new striker markets.”

And hinting at where she’d like to eventually end up, she added: “We’ve got 10 years to save the West Ham.”

Truss, whose 49 days in power marked a new low for a British prime minister, is expected to announce Kwasi Kwarteng as director of football and a lettuce as kit manager.

image from pixabay

If you dress up as a lettuce, is it cosplay?

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