Voters not sure they want PR now Farage does

Proportional Representation has found an unlikely ally, in Nigel Farage - the answer to what would the child of an ash tray and Goebbels look like. Said one nervous voter: 'Is it a trap? If we grab PR, does a huge mouse cage drop on us? Obviously voting is a good thing, but only if they vote for who I want.'

Lib Dems have failed to get PR done, so Farage has asked Ed Davey to hold his pint of craft ale. Everyone was absolutely sure they wanted more democracy, right up until Reform won some seats. Now they are not so sure, with many now in favour of the benign dictatorships, saying at least Genghis Khan wanted a united Europe.

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Ed Davey continues to work his way through his bucket list

Drawings of cocks will still count as votes

Voters are being warned that spoiling your ballot paper by drawing a cock and balls on it may not prevent it being counted as a vote. The Electoral Commission said that such actions will be interpreted as portraying a preference for the biggest knob amongst the candidates.

However, this will be done on a constituency by constituency basis, so that drawing a prick will not necessarily be considered as a vote for Rishi Sunak, Sir Keir Starmer, or even that LibDem bloke, even though they are all regularly compared to male members.

One thing is clear however. Since Nigel Farage declared that he would stand, it has been decided that any drawings of female genitalia will be counted as votes for Reform UK.

Image: MostafaElTurkey36 - Pixabay