Celebrity muck-raker Isobel Oakeshott "can't understand" why several potential clients have pulled out of employing her to help write their autobiographies.
"Matt's book is all over the news, he should be happy" fumed a confidential confidante of Ms Oakeshott, whose name we'll reveal in next week's Telegraph. "Izzy always makes sure her clients get loads of publicity, just ask David Cameron. She offers a watertight legal guarantee giving clients total control over all their data, until such time as she gets a more lucrative offer. Or get bored."
It's understood that literally several politicians had been considering using her services, but no longer. Said one 'everything she does involves cocks - time for me to pull out.' However, things may be looking up for her now that her WhatsApp has just pinged with a message from a Mr Johnson.
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