The NHS has announced separate corridors for patients who are men, patients who are women, patients who are men pretending to be women, patients who women pretending to be men, patients who decline to choose, patients who do choose but who decline to declare which their preference is, straight corridors, gay corridors, miserable corridors, one-way corridors and corridors which run both ways.
The United Nations has noted an unprecedented decline in world fertility rates, which directly correlates with a rise in unattractive men.
"In many ways, men have never been more fertile," said Upda Duff, the report's lead author. "A reduction in smoking and better diets mean sperm counts are high on every continent. The major issue seems to be their choosing to either look like unkempt vagrants with giant beards, or dropping their body fat so low they resemble a shrink-wrapped packet of chicken legs in the supermarket; and that's before they open their mouths to tell people their political-leanings or misogynistic tendencies. This is leading to revulsion by women, a condition known colloquially as 'clam-jam' and meaning they're more likely to spend their free time with a bottle of Pinot Grigio and a repeat of the BBC's dramatization of Pride and Prejudice."
"The report's conclusions are an unfortunate demonstration of our female-dominated world and I will reserve judgement on their feelings regarding male desirability until I've heard from Andrew Tate." said exactly zero women yesterday, or ever.
Image: TBIT - Pixabay
