The United Nations has noted an unprecedented decline in world fertility rates, which directly correlates with a rise in unattractive men.
"In many ways, men have never been more fertile," said Upda Duff, the report's lead author. "A reduction in smoking and better diets mean sperm counts are high on every continent. The major issue seems to be their choosing to either look like unkempt vagrants with giant beards, or dropping their body fat so low they resemble a shrink-wrapped packet of chicken legs in the supermarket; and that's before they open their mouths to tell people their political-leanings or misogynistic tendencies. This is leading to revulsion by women, a condition known colloquially as 'clam-jam' and meaning they're more likely to spend their free time with a bottle of Pinot Grigio and a repeat of the BBC's dramatization of Pride and Prejudice."
"The report's conclusions are an unfortunate demonstration of our female-dominated world and I will reserve judgement on their feelings regarding male desirability until I've heard from Andrew Tate." said exactly zero women yesterday, or ever.
Image: TBIT - Pixabay
Senior management vacancies - suddenly available right now (various locations, all in the US)
Re-numeration: 80,000 – 120,000 Meme Coin - minus benefits
Hours: Yes
Suitable for angry, scared and resentful individuals who don’t waste time on critical thinking. This role will provide plenty of opportunities for revenge and power trips. You will be told exactly what to say and will be provided resources to conduct your own research on.
Required skills:
• Being Male (At birth and currently)
• If you are non-Caucasian or non-straight, or even, worst case, a woman, then you must make up for that in advanced anger skills and cutting-edge hypocrisy
• Preferred social media must be Truth Social or X (Referring to this as Twitter is immediate rejection)
• Xenophobia an advantage, even if you don't fully know what that means
• Must be a True Patriot - provide supporting convictions and how far you got on Jan 6th 2021
• Must have over 88,000 online followers, 90% of which can be bots
• Ownership of a high-end podcast microphone is preferred along with a wall mounted firearm which is to be visible in all video conference calls.
In your job application, include your aims in a twelve-word phrase or four word slogan
Picture credit: WIX AI + deskpilot