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USA bombs Epstein news


In a bold pre-emptive strike, the US has destroyed all paedo/cannibal headlines for at least 24 hours. Tehran will be the lucky recipients of distraction missiles and a large explosion of smoke and mirrors.


A Pentagon spokeswoman confirmed: 'The people of Iran will lay down their lives, so President Trump can have his peni$ redacted. The only thing that can save them are aliens-as that's an even bigger story.'


While a short campaign is preferred, this may change if Iran defends itself or if rumours of Donald Trump, Woody Allen and Mickey Mouse surface.


Hot air balloon rides across the USA: free missile with every flight

Take off and glide through the American countryside in a majestic hot air balloon as the sun rises over rolling hills, military installations and landscapes of outstanding natural beauty.



Enjoy the perfect 360-degree view from 2000 feet in the air from dawn – the perfect time to soak up spectacular landscapes for as far as the eye can see.


Made all the better with a glass of bubbly after landing (if you survive) and a chance to take out a fighter jet with a FREE air-to-air missile.


This trip combines the relaxation of balloon travel with the thrills promised in the American Constitution. Book now for a 10% discount on funeral fees.




First published 14 Feb 2023


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