I’ll make everybody a non-dom, says Nadhim Zahawi

In the latest tax cutting pledge from a Tory leadership hopeful, Nadhim Zahawi has said he’ll make everybody in the UK a non-dom if he becomes Prime Minister.

“It is the best way I know of to lower your personal tax bill,” he said. “This move will help ordinary working families with millions, or even billions, held in a low-tax offshore jurisdictions.”

The move immediately caused Sajid Javid to back Mr Zahawi’s campaign.

It also led to a big argument in the Sunak household about who was the best candidate.

image from pixabay

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First published 14 Jul 2022

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Andrew to stand as Reform UK by-election candidate

'Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor is an arrogant, obnoxious, feckless, ignorant failure who has a gripe against the world,' said a spokes-skunk for Reform UK.

'We're asking ourselves why we never spotted before how perfectly he'd fit into our party.

'Like Zahawi, Dorries and the rest of the flotsam which has washed up with us, Andrew has done sod all good for anyone in his life, and blames everyone from the government to the media for bringing him down when he is entirely the author of his own misfortunes.

'This is why we're putting up Andrew forthwith as Reform UK candidate in the Gorton and Denton by-election next Thursday.

'He'll be electoral catnip for the tens of thousands of voters in the constituency who are themselves ill-educated, disagreeable, irresponsible, self-destructive failures eaten up by resentment.

Why shouldn't people like that be represented in Parliament by one of their own kind? They are also human,' said the spokes-swine.

'Well, sort of human.'

Image: Wix AI

You entitled, snobbish fop, Zahawi