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Have you submitted an incorrect tax return in error? Contact Dodgy Dave's now


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Call in at our office above the Fuk Mi Chinese takeaway on Dick Turpin Lane. That's two doors down from Barry's Paper Shredder Boutique.


We have had many rishi rich and influential clients piss pass through our hands over the years. As we hold ourselves to the highest ethical we cannot reveal who they are. Our byword is Omerta. Please make your first payment for a consultation in one of the courtesy brown paper bags near the entrance.


Remember Dodgy Dave's - One Hand Washes the Other.



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Zahawi currently leading in the ‘Who Can Be the Most Tory’ challenge


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Nadhim Zahawi has taken a surprise overnight lead in ‘Who Can Be the Most Tory’, an unofficial challenge set to all 354 serving MPs by leader Rishi Sunak, who currently sits in second place.


The Stratford-upon-Avon MP, who served as Chancellor for 14 minutes, pipped ahead of Sunak last night following revelations he’s been avoiding millions of pounds in tax. “Tax avoidance to this degree is worth 20 points in the Tory league table”, clarified a Conservative Party spokesman earlier. “He got 5 bonus points for avoiding tax whilst telling poor people to tighten their belts. That’s some serious Torying right there, he deserved them”, he added.


When approached for comment on his tax affairs, Zahawi said: “I am innocent and have done absolutely nothing wrong”, a statement which earned him an additional 10 Tory points, extending his lead further.


Sunak, who despite some great work chartering a luxury jet to pick up a private prescription for an antibiotic normal people can’t find, currently sits in second. “I need to pull some serious Tory Twattery out of the bag if I’m going to catch Nadhim, he’s on fire”, admitted the PM.


“I may rewrite the road safety laws to avoid paying that £60 seatbelt fine I got last week, that’s worth at least 50 points, surely?” he added


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Zahawi ‘feels foolish’ after failing to notice bags of gold strewn about his house


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Conservative Party chairman and all-round good guy Nadhim Zahawi has spoken about his embarrassment over the ‘schoolboy errors’ which led him to pay several million less in tax than was due.


“To be honest, those bags of bullion have been lying around the house for ages”, he told reporters. “I remembered to count the jewels, the diamond mines, the various companies etc, but after a while you just tune out gold. I don’t know why. I suppose it’s just an everyday thing. Bloody hurts when you stub your toe on an ingot, that’s for sure!”


Mean-spirited Labour politicians have called for the former (checks notes) Chancellor of the Exchequer to resign, arguing that he really should have known, to the nearest million, how much he owed in taxes. Supporters of ‘regular guy’ Zahawi have pointed out that funnelling shares to offshore tax havens isn’t illegal unless you get caught.


Mr Zahawi is philosophical about the additional payments to HMRC. "I can just turn up the thermostat on my stables and recoup any losses that way", he explained.




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