Nadhim Zahawi has taken a surprise overnight lead in ‘Who Can Be the Most Tory’, an unofficial challenge set to all 354 serving MPs by leader Rishi Sunak, who currently sits in second place.
The Stratford-upon-Avon MP, who served as Chancellor for 14 minutes, pipped ahead of Sunak last night following revelations he’s been avoiding millions of pounds in tax. “Tax avoidance to this degree is worth 20 points in the Tory league table”, clarified a Conservative Party spokesman earlier. “He got 5 bonus points for avoiding tax whilst telling poor people to tighten their belts. That’s some serious Torying right there, he deserved them”, he added.
When approached for comment on his tax affairs, Zahawi said: “I am innocent and have done absolutely nothing wrong”, a statement which earned him an additional 10 Tory points, extending his lead further.
Sunak, who despite some great work chartering a luxury jet to pick up a private prescription for an antibiotic normal people can’t find, currently sits in second. “I need to pull some serious Tory Twattery out of the bag if I’m going to catch Nadhim, he’s on fire”, admitted the PM.
“I may rewrite the road safety laws to avoid paying that £60 seatbelt fine I got last week, that’s worth at least 50 points, surely?” he added
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