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Not everyone you hate is a nonce



Much to the surprise of social media users, sometimes other people hold different opinions, without being the spawn of satan. Remarked one teenager: 'I really dislike that guy's haircut, I'm pretty sure he's a terrorist.'


Of course it's just possible that the middle-aged ar$ehole who doesn't share your taste in movies is not a kitten molester or the cause of the black death.


Explained one sociologist: 'Statistically it seems unlikely that 99% of people you interact with are Nazis. Not even 99% of Germans in 1939 were Nazis - and, other than Lawrence Fox, they were arguably their biggest fans.'


image from pixabay

Essex pub raided for not displaying right wing memorabilia


A pub in Essex has been raided by police after customers complained there were no right-wing offensive memorabilia on display.


'No swastikas, no golliwogs, no framed portraits of Nigel Farage in sight,' said a Detective Constable today.


'Obviously we tried to give them advice on the right way to display any golliwogs they might find - preferably with a correctly tied noose around their necks, but they weren't up for listening. We pointed out we had better things to do with our time, what with raping and abusing law abiding citizens, but zero interest. We tried to give them leaflets on how to be racist, some Britain First tee shirts we had going spare, but they wouldn't take any notice.


'Of course, we've arrested them, charged them with wasting police time. We also noticed they had RNLI collection containers on the bar so we've charged them with offences related to funding terrorist organisations as well,' he added.


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/kbha-9658148/

Study finds Godwin's Law actually a Nazi invention



It has long been accepted wisdom that the first person in a debate or argument to resort to accusing someone of acting like a Nazi has lost the argument, and the concept is generally attributed to Mike Godwin in 1990. New research has discovered that the so-called Godwin's Law actually goes back a lot further.


'In 1939 the generals governing Poland are recorded as calling Adolf Hitler a Nazi, and they certainly lost that argument,' said an expert today. ' Apparently the French and Belgium leaderships called him a Nazi about that time, too. Holland, well, they could have used more circumspect language,' he suggested. 'Perhaps if these leaders of countries had moderated their language, perhaps like Gary Lineker, World War Two might have been avoided,' he added.


The expert view regarding the debate about the UK migrant deportation process that has resulted in the likes of Priti Patel and Suella Braverman being likened to Nazis is that Godwin's Law doesn't apply. 'If it walks like a duck,' suggested the expert.





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