Showbiz world stunned as Ant & Dec hand back their latest NTA award

Showbiz has been left reeling following news lovable Geordies Ant and Dec have handed back their 22nd consecutive Best TV Presenter award.

Fans are said to be devastated with hashtag #AntandDecAlwaysWinBestTVPresenterAwardItsTheLaw trending all day on social media sites, while Samaritans report a massive increase in calls to its national helpline.

To add insult to injury, Ant, or it might have been Dec, we’re not sure said: ‘Thawz nie kudos left in it, bonny lad. Even we're embarrassed by having won the bloody thing every year. Well noo, leik, we just cannat be awsed nie maw. And if wor fans durn’t leik it th'ill just have to haddaway an’ shite.’

Catchphrase presenter Stephen Mulhern is understood to have now replaced the boys in the category; not for anything specific. It’s just that he somehow manages to look the dead spit of Ant and Dec rolled into one person. A move NTA big wigs hope might keep the public happy.

Fan who collapsed during Newcastle Utd match couldn't believe how much Saudis paid for the club

A Newcastle United fan collapsed with a suspected heart attack after hearing who had bought the club and how much they had paid for it. The match at St James' Park was suspended while PR men rushed to the scene to convince those in shock that everything was normal and that it is perfectly acceptable these days to receive hundreds of millions of pounds from well dodgy billionaires.

Professional conspiracy theorists earning thousands online just by suggesting bonkers stuff have pointed out that there is a connection between people who have collapsed during football matches. Crackpot theory inventor Jay Kay said, 'Remember when Christian Eriksen collapsed in that Euro 2020 match? He was playing for Denmark but was a Tottenham player at the time, Fabrice Muamba collapsed at the old Tottenham ground, and this fan collapsing at Newcastle last weekend was in a match against... you got it...Tottenham.'

'I'm not saying that Spurs are part of a shady global conspiracy behind a spate of people collapsing at football matches, but I am suggestively planting the idea so that you think there might be some truth to it. But it is definitely not true at all that the Football Association and the UK Government are now allowing any old corrupt cabal to buy Premiership football teams. That would be mad and totally unbelievable.'

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