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A new attraction, due to open at the Tate Modern in August, features the work of artist, Dick Scratcher, who specialises in collages of newspaper headlines and speeches from disreputable politicians. Mr Scratcher describes himself as a con artist, since he works through the medium of con tricks played on the public by politicians.


Among the works on display, will be 'Big Society', a montage of the Cameron years when the public was told the nation is all in the shit together, without explaining how the privileged would prosper beyond their wildest dreams; 'Brexitmania', a retrospective of the myriad promises that leaving the EU would definitely bring; and 'Never Give a Sucker an Even Break', a work showing the history of how NHS PPE supplies were deliberately run down, so a cabal of criminals could scam the nation out of billions of pounds with unusable protective equipment.


The Tate Modern is offering the public the chance to suggest a creative name for the exhibition, with entries closing on June 30, and says it is hoping for more inventive suggestions than 'Tory Scum', which is the best the curators could come up with themselves. A full list of exhibits, with a description of what they represent, will be published in due course.



Picture credit: deep dream generator


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Jacob Rees-Mogg has reportedly paid his apothecary a handful of guineas to release the polio vaccine as part of his plan to get back to the 'good old days' when women were witches and peasants knew their place. To cover his tracks, he then paid a sailor he knows, 'in the biblical sense,' to press gang said apothecary onto a ship bound for destruction in the Anglo-Dutch wars of the 1670s.

A spokesman for Rees-Mogg denied he was a grown up version of the kid from the Omen adding: 'Monkey pox is a good old fashioned sounding illness isn't it? We want to see the return of diseases with names like Milkmaid's Knee, Bishop's Peculiar and Jenkins' Splurge. To be fair those could be real ales too.'

Dismissing the idea a US-style abortion ban could never happen here, the spokesman laughed: 'It definitely could. Have you ever heard the phrase "Northern Ireland" before? If you're English, probably not because of your natural cushion of ignorance and xenophobia, but it will blow your mind and maybe blow up your shopping centres.


'Anyway, many Tories agree with the American Colonies basically making abortion a criminal offence. After all, it's only right that a woman who was raped receives a longer jail sentence for not wanting to raise her rapist's baby than the rapist receives for doing the raping. That seems like the behaviour of a normal functioning society. In any case, a woman with learning is almost certainly a witch. Maybe we'll get that into the next Tory manifesto.'


First published 4 July 2022



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