"On the fifth strike of Xmas, my surgeon withheld from me..."
"Five swollen things!!!
Four colonoscopies, Three French enemas, Two tonsil removals (-done with surgical gloves)
And one partial hip replacement in a pear-shaped knee!"
Image: Engin_Akyurt - Pixabay
A pair of upper class YouTube stars are being hailed as heroes after devising an ingenious method for money saving during a time of financial instability for many families. Coining it ‘LowWaitrose’, their suggestion is that struggling households can save important pennies by limiting how much they shop at Waitrose supermarkets. In a new video the pair described this trick with their distinctly Etonian accents:
‘It’s a universal feeling to enjoy a good Waitrose shop, but we actually saved money by getting our groceries from places other than Waitrose - a huge life hack I’m not sure many families are aware of. It will still be there for your essential grocery items, like a Duck Parfait or Truffle Oil, but we think limiting your Waitrose exposure could really make a dent in this cost of living crisis. We even came across this niche German supermarket called Lidl and let me tell you the mini-pizzas are sublime.’
The online stars then went on to describe how even though they personally didn’t need to change their shopping habits, they understand how many people are affected by the soaring food prices.
‘While we can more than afford to get a Waitrose Finest Bronze Turkey on a regular basis, we understand how for so many people that dream has become really difficult. You should really be in the loop about a place called Sainsbury’s, even though you might not find us shopping there.’
On social media the YouTubers hinted that in their next video they would be tackling the NHS waiting lists by using Private Healthcare.
image from pixabay
First published 28 Nov 2023
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Wes Streeting today hailed his new trial of outsourcing of A and E patients as an unqualified success, apart from the deaths and medical complications.
The new initiative involves shifting patients from crowded corridors and cupboards into the care of local families.
Streeting admitted that some were 'surprised' when the crash teams turned up at their doors in the small hours
with the patients, but once they had all been briefed in the finer points of the care needed, given an emergency blanket and a leaky water jug with the wrong lid, they nodded dumbly and agreed.
'At first it was a challenge, what with fitting them in with the greyhounds and the allotment stuff, especially as it is a one bedroom place but we gave it a go!' shouted Julie from her window, as her door was blocked by the trolley.
Streeting announced that more poorly patients would be moved into homeless tents. 'Its a win win. The patients have a quicker release and the homeless have someone to chat to, albeit briefly'.
