Sally Rooney novels are now 'crack cocaine for book clubs'

British book clubs have begun passing around Sally Rooney novels in brown paper bags, like illicit hooch. One nember spoke on condition of anonymity 'This book is completely different now that its sale has been banned in the UK. I haven't read it, exactly, but I have read the plot summary on Wikipedia. Don't tell anyone.'

'It's like when they used to dub over Gerry Adams' voice on the news and that is what directly led to peace in Northern Ireland.'

A statement from Benjamin Netanyahu's office said 'Normal People? Normalising antisemitism more like. Everyone who has read a Sally Rooney novel or seen a film adaptation is denying the right of Israel to exist. When say the right of Israel, I mean the far right.'

'Israel is also preemptively banning any Wayne Rooney novels, just to be on the safe side.'

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Image: ChatGPT

Palestine Action and Just Stop Oil to copy Dover protest methods

'We're going to ditch the placards, slogans and superglue stunts,' said a pensioner activist, 'and adopt the Dover approach.'

Apparently Doris, 84 and retired, is a dab hand at knitting balaclavas for her grandkids, and Eric, 72, has a mountain of black dye ready to colour dozens of cardigans in the tin bath he uses in front of the fire to bathe in.

'We won't say anything, we'll just march on our Zimmer frames in our black balaclavas and cardis blocking the High Street, disrupting the end of season sales and generally being a silent nuisance. The police can't do anything now a precedent has been set in Dover, and we'll finish off with a sit-in at the bingo hall,' said Eric.

'When I say sit-in, I mean sit down. I can't protest like I used to do,' he added. 'It's my knees.'

Image: WixAI

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