Man has Israel-Palestine solution that 'would definitely work'

'Why don't they just chill out?' asked pub bore Gary Grimthwaite.

Drinking alone, Grimthwaite continued pontificating 'I'm allowed to see my kids on alternate weekends - my ex said I worshipped Jeremy Clarkson more than her. Why don't they try that, but for the holy sites of Jerusalem?'

'A century of bitterness and betrayal? I could sort this out in an hour - two hours tops. I'd be home in time for a Top Gear repeat where I mouth along with Jeremy's bon mots. International diplomacy is really missing the input of someone like me.'

'As a British man, drawing borders on different parts of the world brings me peace. Even when those borders bring others war. It's just what we do.'

image from pixabay

Meanwhile, somewhere above Gaza

Palestinians join the endangered list

Recent attacks have seen Palestinians ranked below Giant Pandas and only slightly above the Dodo. Their chance of surviving is now on par with the Diplodocus or the next Chelsea manager.

While capable of breeding in captivity, Palestinians have become the target of big game hunters - specifically all those who think a two state solution is a big game.

Sadly, since the Nakba they have lost much of their natural habitat. A wildlife expert was asked to comment on anti-Palestinian legislation: 'If they were cuter, people would be more inclined to support them. As environmental battles go, it's David Attenborough versus Goliath.'

image from pixabay

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