The White House has published a note, apparently written by the President's mum, keeping Trump off work for another day.
'Donald has a poorly tum and his bone spurs are playing up,' says the note. 'Plus, some naughty boys in the press corps keep shouting names at him. Names like Epstein and Andrew.'
The note concludes that 'Donald will be back at work once a full pardon is announced.'
Image credit: perchance.org
President Trump has today pardoned thousands of prisoners, including many on death row.
A spokesman said that all registered Republican voters had been pardoned because the President knew that they would help to 'Make America Great Again' and that 'their hearts were in the right place.' Every pardoned prisoner will, on release, be given a free MAGA cap.
The President plans to make use of the freed up prison capacity to lock up migrants, if they were registered Democrats, before sending them into space on one of Elon’s rockets.
Some people have been concerned that the released prisoners might re-offend, but the President said that this was 'not a problem', as he could pardon them again, adding 'the only crime is not voting Trump'.
Image: ottielie - Pixabay
