Most common password now J66abe???£8d9d9d9d9d)%!

Bill Graham, a cyber security expert, has cautioned against people using ultra-obvious passwords.

'I've been in the cyber security business for over thirty years,' he said today, 'When I started out the most popular passwords were "password" and "1234".  Over the years the industry has been insisting that users choose passwords that aren't easy to guess, have at least one upper case letter, one lower case letter, one number and at least one non-alpha-numeric character.  And has at least 20 characters.

'Research has shown that J66abe???£8d9d9d9d9d)%! is now the most common password in use today.  Trust me, it will be hacked in seconds,' said Bill, who admitted his most recent password is 'BillGrahamJ66abe???£8d9d9d9d9d)%!'.  'Nobody would guess that one,' he said proudly.  'You're not going to publish this?' he asked.

Keyboard Hands Hacker - Free photo on Pixabay - Pixabay

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National Cyber Security Centre advice compromises PM’s passwords

In a blogpost made in 2021, the National Cyber Security Centre advised that three random words can provide the most effective login password to defeat hackers.

Newsbiscuit has learned through leaked documents, that it appears that unaccountably, government ministers were revealing their three-word passwords in the three-word slogans they adorned their lecterns with.

Cyber security experts are likely to be spending the rest of the year trying to establish how many times Rishi Sunak’s STOPTHEBOATS password was breached by Russian and Chinese spies, but think a parody lectern used in Newsbiscuit cartoons with slogans such as STOP THE VOTES may have helped as a distraction and be seen in time as equally valuable as the efforts made in WW2 by the Special Operations Executive (SOE).

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Increased bank security measures lead to a rise in hacking

We tracked down one hacker, 43-year-old Izzy Cash from 42 Gladstone Street in Coventry, who asked us not to reveal her identity.

Izzy said, 'I’m not a criminal! I became a hacker because it was the only way I could access my own bank account. I’ve been using online banking for years, but one day when I tried to log in I kept getting error messages. I rang the bank’s ironically titled ‘Helpline’, and after being kept on hold for 90 minutes I finally got through to someone and explained I couldn’t log in to my account. They said it was because they’d recently introduced new security measures, and I needed to create new a set of passwords to be able to access my account.'

Izzy continued, 'After taking me through some security questions, like what was my mother’s maiden name, my date of birth, the street I grew up in, my first pet, last school, blood type, star sign, eye colour, shoe size, age I lost my virginity and number of fillings, they said none of those answers were secure enough, as anyone who knew me might guess them. They made me create several new passwords, which couldn’t be the real answers to the security questions. Each password had to be 30 characters long, with one upper case letter, one number, one special symbol, one Roman numeral, one Egyptian hieroglyph, one rune, one mathematical symbol, one Chinese character, one letter in Morse code and a Wingding. I managed to come up with passwords which fit their criteria, but when I tried to access my account later I still couldn’t log in, because my computer keyboard doesn’t have half those symbols on it.'

Izzy went on to say, 'Rather than calling the 'helpline' again, I decided it would be easier to take an online course in computer hacking, so I could access my bank account to pay my gas bill. It’s surprisingly simple to hack my account, much more straightforward than using all those stupid passwords.'

Izzy has since been prosecuted by her bank, for stealing her own identity.

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