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Pepys' Diary: a distemper in the body of the Church

Breakfasted on cold veal pie and then on to the Admiralty.


I understand that the King is greatly vexed with the Archbishop of Canterbury who had been lax in disciplining of his lay preachers, a John Smyth, who had administered beatings to boys in his care. The King was heard to utter ‘who will rid me of this timorous priest?’ Shortly afterwards, he received a letter of resignation. We must give thanks that the Sovereign is the Head of our Church of England.


News has come from the American colonies. It appears that the bellicose blowhard, Trump, is yet again stirring trouble. He intends to tax goods arriving on their shores. Outrageous! That is solely the purview of our government.


What times we live in.


Image credit: "Samuel Pepys, diarist" by lisby1 is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.

Boris Johnson lying on a beach earning 20%, in danger of being rolled back into the sea



Numbwits are falling over their manservants to bung Boris Nonsense £150,000 to listen to 'I - I - I... er... no, urm... but YES' on about Peppa Pig and Kermit the Frog. Important stuff which would make us mere non-super-spaffers instant billionaires if we just grew rich daddies 59 years ago and had illegal, undisclosed Caribbean off-shore tax avoidance trust funds, what-what, eh?


But what-whatever spurts out of its blowhole, concerns have been raised that the disgraced former prime minister's taxpayer funded security detail still isn't enough to protect it from whaling harpoons.


The constituents of Uxbridge have been falsely reassured that their MP is safe, and they are being served as dutifully from a Caribbean beach as the people of Britain were served.




Boris Johnson destroys Peppa Pig World from Typhoon fighter jet



In a covert mission carried out under the dead of right-wing press fawning, Still Prime Minister Boris Johnson has personally napalmed Peppa Pig World at Paultons Park.


The official line from the Ministry of Defending the Indefensible is that there was a clear and present threat to the UK from woke snowflake cartoon characters. However, people not as high on the nutter scale have pointed to an act of retribution for Peppa Pig not signing a trade deal with the UK government, coupled with a building vengeance from the Prime Minister for not being allowed back on any of the rides.


The mission has been declared a complete success as collateral damage from the precision targeted strike destroyed all of the New Forest and most of Hampshire, leaving Peppa Pig World completely unharmed.


image from pixabay

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