Boris Johnson lying on a beach earning 20%, in danger of being rolled back into the sea
Numbwits are falling over their manservants to bung Boris Nonsense £150,000 to listen to 'I - I - I... er... no, urm... but YES' on about Peppa Pig and Kermit the Frog. Important stuff which would make us mere non-super-spaffers instant billionaires if we just grew rich daddies 59 years ago and had illegal, undisclosed Caribbean off-shore tax avoidance trust funds, what-what, eh?
But what-whatever spurts out of its blowhole, concerns have been raised that the disgraced former prime minister's taxpayer funded security detail still isn't enough to protect it from whaling harpoons.
The constituents of Uxbridge have been falsely reassured that their MP is safe, and they are being served as dutifully from a Caribbean beach as the people of Britain were served.