Piers Morgan denies knowing bees make honey

Piers Morgan has denied knowing that bees make honey while he was editor of Beekeeper’s Weekly. He was defending himself against accusations made by several hungry bears, an annoying wasp, and thousands of ants. Mr Morgan also denies involvement in acquiring honey from the pantries of celebrities and royals.

Speaking before the trial Mr Morgan said: I've never even seen honey, let alone tasted it. When I was editor of Beekeeper Weekly no one ever mentioned honey in my presence. This is the biggest witch hunt in history.’

The trial continues.

Image:stevepb | Pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com

New Covid variant branching out into plumbing and accountancy

In one of Nature's most frightening feats of adaptive mutation, the Coronavirus is now assuming forms never seen before. "We fear it could have insinuated itself into telemarketing or even be selling you double glazing", says epidemiologist Dr Mark Boyle. "We urge the public to be constantly vigilant".

Paranoia has gripped the nation. There are rumours that the virus could now be reading the news on Sky or posing as a junior minister. Police have called for calm after after a semi-literate mob of vigilantes attacked an Oxford classics don after they overheard him saying "I like Ovid".

Meanwhile, Piers Morgan remains holed up in a basement underneath the studios, as his bosses try to convince the howling mob outside that it was "just a metaphor" when he was described as "a virus in human form".

Image: PIRO4D | Pixabay

GB News sign up Roy Race as World Cup Anchor and senior pundit

In what some see as a desperate attempt to double its viewing number, GB News has signed former football star Roy Race of Melchester Rovers to cover the World Cup. The popular footballist, famed for his bicycle kicks, double-nutted power headers and ability to score winning goals when every bone in his body had been broken, is seen as a coup for GB News.

Roy of the Rovers, as he was known at the peak of his footballing career, was overlooked by Sir Alf Ramsey in the 1966 World cup to the lament of his fans, who insist that had he been selected, Germany would have thrown the towel in at half time.

Newsbiscuit looked into the mystery of why Sir Alf declined to include Britain's greatest ever footballer from the team and discovered that Race refused point blank to be part of a team that had foreigners in it; or anyone who looked like they might have a drop of foreign blood in them, or even had a foreign sounding name.

GB News describe him as the salt of the earth type character that Britain lacks these days; and are optimistic that the football hero will not only inspire youngsters to take an interest in football, but encourage them to consider how great Britain once was, back in the days when football trains were being trashed by supporter