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An unlikely job swap for Sam Battle and Keir Starmer


In an unexpected move, Sam Battle and Keir Starmer are to swap jobs.


Sam Battle, who underscored his musical talent at Eurovision, will take over as Prime Minister next week. Commentators say that he will bring a tremendous energy and enthusiasm to the role, which Keir Starmer has been unable to harness. He has said that he will continue to wear his trademark pink boiler suit for the duration of his premiership.  He said that his main goal would be to ‘not make any U-turns’.  He dismissed the suggestion that he would be known as ‘Look Mum, No Policies’ as frivolous.  He added, 'I couldn't do any worse than Keir, could I?'


Keir Starmer, who has underscored as Labour party leader and PM, will be Britain’s Eurovision entry for 2027. In a statement, he said that he understood the importance of music to Britain and to the British economy. He said that he was disappointed with the poor result this year, which he attributed to the cost of living, the price of energy, international bond markets and the rise of Reform. He felt that Things Could Only Get Better and that he would be taking advice from Angela Rayner, as she could probably give a decent performance of Bangaranga, given the chance. He said that he would be judged by results, and that he was aiming to score at least two points.  He added, 'I couldn't do any worse than Sam, could I?'


image from Grok

PMs birthday bash followed covid rules - sort of - says government



Amid reports that up to 30 members of staff, interior decorators and family members met indoors to celebrate Boris Johnson's birthday during lockdown, the government has insisted that the whole meeting was carried out in compliance with COVID rules..


'The singing of Happy Birthday was carried out twice while the chef who cut the cake washed his hands, in line with government guidance at the time, said a spokesperson..


Responding to critics that the Prime Minister risked spreading Covid particles by blowing out the candles the government spokesman replied that removing a fire risk was an acceptable reason for not wearing a mask and was carried out entirely in the public interest.



First published 25 Jan 2022


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Rishi Sunak refuses to say whether he lives in a big house


Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has repeatedly refused to say whether he lives in a big house or not.


The multi millionaire PM told the BBC’s Larry Knutsberg that his living arrangements were a private concern and not really relevant to his ability to deal with the cost of living crisis.


Rumours that Sunak lives in a big house in the country with a nice garden, a patio and a gravel drive have been circulating around Westminster for several weeks now but the PM did nothing to quash those rumours, insisting it was nothing but media tittle-tattle.


Mr.Sunak also refused to tell Knutsberg whether he knew other multi millionaires like him or say whether he had ever been to Butlins on a fortnight’s holiday.


‘Rishi Sunak is the richest Prime Minister the UK has ever had…. we think it is important to know whether he lives in a big house or not,’ said Knutsberg. ‘We appreciate it’s unlikely he lives in a council house or assisted accommodation but unless he comes out publicly and let’s us all know one way or the other the rumours will persist.


'There are over 1.5 million people on the social housing waiting list….the public need to know whether he is one of them or not’.



First published 10 Jan 2023


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