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The West Wing remake announced



The White House has announced that the popular 90s drama 'The West Wing' is to be remade in an up-to-date format that is going to be 'bigly better than the DEI woke virus' version.  It is understood the the current President and cabinet are going to act themselves in the new West Wing episodes.


The first episode of the new season opens with the President winning every vote in the country, including from Democrats who died during the pandemic.  The producers admit it isn't an entirely accurate reflection on facts, but is based on facts, mainly facts originating in new ally Russia. Which brings us to the second episode...


Episode 2 sees the West Wing ordering pizzas, attacks on NATO, tax breaks for Russian oligarchs and setting up a car showroom on the White House lawn.  As part of the teaser before the opening credits every government agency is disbanded, with every civil servant losing their job. The producers admit is isn't an entirely accurate reflection on facts, but is based on facts, mainly facts originating from existing ally Argentina.  (Historical note:  Argentina in its current form has been an ally of the current President for weeks)


Episode 3 sees the President launching nuclear weapons towards Russia.  Only towards, a few hundred miles short to be exact, and then a bigly exchange of similar weapons around the world, whose population collectively sighs the mother of all sighs, relieved that at least they won't have to see another episode, let alone another season.




Vance rails at lack of banjo playing in Europe



Following his recent speech at the Munich Security Conference, when Vice President JD Vance heavily criticised Europe for stifling free speech, it's come to light that at a much less reported event he also railed at Europe's lack of banjo playing.


Addressing a meeting of the Euro Cowpoke Brethren, he slammed political leaders for silencing banjo playing in Europe, saying, 'What I want to say to our European allies is, I am deeply concerned about European governments and their attack on freedom of banjo playing.'


He went on, 'When I was growing up in my hometown, we would listen to it for hours before going out to hunt tourists. In Europe, government crackdowns on banjo playing, with an insistence on Johann Sebastian Bach instead, is like a Soviet-era mind-virus. Furthermore, deliberate mass immigration into Europe means the banjo is under threat from all kinds of ethnic drumming and chanting, like rap music. Point is, there is a new President in the Whitehouse now and he loves the banjo bigly.'

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