Tory MPs playing to their strengths

Which Wizard of Oz character are you?

Priti wants to be the Wicked Witch of the West. “I like her alliterative name and also her lust for revenge. If anything, they’ve made her too nice”.

Liz thinks she’d be great as Dorothy, though her friends all call her Scarecrow behind her back as she hasn’t yet located her brain.

Several of Priti and Liz’s friends identify with the Tin Man. Indeed, they venerate him for his ability to survive without a heart, like Suella does.

Boris thinks he should be the Wizard, though most of his friends have suggested the Cowardly Lion. Was there a fridge in the film?

And finally – who would play Toto, the loyal dog? If the dog had a drink problem, maybe Nadine?

Image: Comstock Photos | FreeImages

Splinter Group "Just Stop Growth" threatens Truss with direct action protests

Hardcore splinter group "Just Stop Growth" has threatened the Conservative Government over its pro-growth strategy.

The group, an extremist offshoot of the Anti Growth Coalition that was pilloried by the Prime Minister during her speech has a shadowy membership. Made up of a few raving lefties - it includes the likes of Corbyn, Ed Milliband and Theresa May - they are now attracting a whole new breed of protestor with rumours that Rishi, Michael Gove and even Priti Patel are on board.

'We're going in direct, physical and determined,' commented an anonymous member, meeting our reporter at a clandestine pheasant-shooting weekender in Surrey. 'You're talking continual banging of desks - potentially hours - at the 1922 committee. Abstaining from the subsidized commons bars. There's going to be a really clear message, we just aren't sure what it is yet.'

Asked about the potential collaboration with the even more extreme "Shrink Britain" affiliate, who model themselves on the equally pointless Insulate Britain but with a focus on either the economy or shrink-wrap, (they haven't decided yet), the response was luke warm. 'We're going to have a debate on it, then a couple of votes. Something might come out of it, but I think we need to travel around a bit - perhaps the Bahamas - to really feel and understand this whole shrinkflation idea.'

One thing was clear though - whatever the action plan, if it meant sitting on the M25 in the cold with only sandwiches and a flask of coffee, this was outside their remit - 'While we are in on the principle, you have to draw the line somewhere. We'll leave that side of it to the poor people, said the spokesman, before getting a refill of the Chateau la fete 1945.

Story: RichT

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