The UK economy has reacted angrily to claims that it needs to ‘step up’ and ‘get its act together’.
The economy said that it was doing its best in difficult circumstances and that it was unrealistic for the chancellor to expect it to grow, when her actions were making that very hard.
‘I would like to grow,’ said a red-eyed economy, ‘I really would. A growing economy makes everyone happy – more money to spend, higher wages and rising living standards. Who wouldn’t want that?’
The economy sniffed, and blew its nose loudly on a sodden tissue. ‘And now the Chancellor’s gone to China, to woo a different economy. I hate her. Even more than I hated Jeremy Hunt and Kwasi Kwarteng.
‘Rachel has made things very difficult for me. She has dumped a big tax hit on businesses, and that will filter through to consumers through higher prices. There’s no plan for growth. Inflation is going back up, and recession and stagflation loom. Interest rates are up. Real wages are falling. Benefits are falling. It isn’t my fault,’ wailed the economy.
Economists agree that the economy is in a fragile state. They have recommended that the Chancellor and the economy should ‘consciously un-couple’ and spend some time apart.
image from pixabay
