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Things to do on Amazon Prime day

Writer: deskpilot
deskpilot
Oct 10

Take a walk

Play with the cat

Read a book

Plant some seeds (or talk to your plants)

Bake something

Phone a loved one

Decide to make all your Christmas presents this year

Learn to knit

Have a really long bath

Cure cancer

Reflect on the damage done by rampant consumerism and Jeff Bezos

Enjoy!



Image credit: Wix AI



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Elderly ladies saddened by Burning Nan festival cancellation

Writer: NickB
NickB
Sep 5

'I was looking forward to taking psychotropic drugs, dancing topless then ending it all on a huge conflagration' said Jean Smythe, 81 of Honiton, speaking from a sodden bonfire somewhere in the Nevada Desert. 'Now I wish I had spent the money on purple knitting wool, half an ounce of skunk and a ticket to Zurich.'


Mrs Smythe is one of the hundreds of disappointed Grandmothers who wanted to end it all in a blaze of suicidal glory in the desert at Burning Nan. Many of them are of the generation who attended the first Woodstock or Isle of Wight and older, and some are accompanied by devoted grandchildren.


Jerry Smithers, a first timer at BN said, 'I told my nan she'd get to see and possibly sleep with Brian Poole of Tremeloes fame if she attended, without explaining in detail what the climax of the festival would entail. She was disappointed but put a brave face on it, as that generation always does.


'But I'm gutted as not only have I missed out on inheriting a bungalow near Herne Bay and a Hillman Minx 2 door coupe in drivable condition, I also have to pay for the old girl's return ticket.'


It's thought hundreds if not thousands of nans will go unburnt in Nevada, and US President Joe Biden has been urged to send Mrs Biden to the region as soon as she has finished her jigsaw. Meanwhile, leading Republicans have labelled the refugee grandmas as 'thieves, pimps and murderers.'




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First published 5 Sep 2023


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Birmingham appearing on maps since before the 2022 Commonwealth Games

Writer: Sarah Tipper
Sarah Tipper
Aug 9

There was some confusion this week after journalists claimed that this year’s Commonwealth Games have really put Birmingham on the map. Literal minded Reading resident Elsie Glovebox popped to check the Reader’s Digest AA Book Of The Road and found Birmingham was there, as she’d remembered it was, having looked at it many years ago when she and husband Stanley had used it when first visiting Stan’s sister Maureen who lives in King’s Heath.


Maureen was asked to comment and said Birmingham always appears on the weather map and incidentally, she’s delighted that King’s Heath is now a gay village, and wasn’t that Tony Iommi good on the opening ceremony, she hopes to see a bit more of him in the closing ceremony.



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First published 9 Aug 2022


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