The Referees Association announced today that it’s introducing an automatic penalty (or “autopen”) system for Liverpool FC.
“Obviously it’s been standard practice for years that Liverpool will be awarded a penalty near the end of the game if they aren’t winning,” said RA official Steve Dalgliesh (no relation, probably).
”However, under the current system Liverpool strikers still have to pretend to be fouled, and we’re concerned they’re in danger of injury from throwing themselves to the ground so often. This could be a problem if they also want to score goals in open play, though I can’t imagine why they’d need to…”
The new system will award as many penalties as Liverpool need to win the game, spacing them out so the whole thing doesn’t look too obviously corrupt.
“We’ve got at least give the appearance of fairness, and we don’t always achieve that. I realise there was a problem last season when Liverpool fans kept voting the referee their ‘man of the match’.”
