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Prince Andrew's new shock-jock podcast


An announcement today from the beleaguered Prince Andrew in that he will host a tell-all podcast called 'Stripped' where he will bear all in regard to his troubled history. He will be referred to in the podcast as Andy Windsor and will adopt a posh, shock-jock style.


'Yah, I'm really going to go there,' he said in a video announcement. 'I'm going to blow the lid of all the scandals that have been falsely pinned on me; we'll discuss all the things that keep us up at night, like the deep state and chem trails, and we'll all have some fun with our guests along the way.'


Initial guests are said to include Sarah Ferguson, Prince Harry, Bill Clinton, David Icke, Lee Anderson, Russell Brand and Joe Rogan. Those who have heard the first excerpts say that it is explosive and could rock the Royal Family forever. Subjects discussed were fork and spoon placement gaffes, sweat, Andy's 'Randy List' of women that interest him, the deep Royal state, and an Andrew versus Charles wrestling simulation (Andrew wins by submission).


The first episode will come out before Christmas, and the series will be sponsored by Pizza Express.



Image credit: Titanic Belfast, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons. Text added.

Royal reconciliation

Former Prince, Harry, has met King Charles at Clarence House.


Palace officials say that the meeting went well, and that Charles had shown Harry his collection of antique cricket bats.


Reports of noises from the meeting, such as 'Yaroo, Ow, and Owww' have been quietly dismissed as 'horseplay', 'joshing' and 'father-son bonding'.


After the meeting, the two repaired to the garden where Charles had organised a celebratory bonfire. This was a rather smoky affair and officials say that they can neither confirm or deny that a large number of copies of 'Spare' were being torched.


After the meeting Charles said that he fully supported Harry in launching his new broadcasting company called Net Flicks, and that he was looking forward to seeing him again in ten years time.


image from Google Gemini


‘Reconnect with nature’, urges Princess Kate, whose family owns half of it

The Princess of Wales has released her latest Mother Nature video, in which she encourages us all to ‘reconnect with nature’ - though her version of nature comes with several stately homes, a helipad, and gardeners who trim the topiary into the shape of corgis.


The videos feature the Prince and Princess enjoying the British countryside, much of which is conveniently owned by them. The Royal Family collectively own over 6.6 billion acres of land worldwide - more than enough for every British citizen to have their own meadow, a small wood, and a personal deer.


A Kensington Palace spokesman said, “Her Royal Highness hopes her message will inspire all citizens to ‘step outside, breathe fresh air, and enjoy the wonders of the natural world’ - provided they don’t accidentally trespass on one of the many royal estates while doing so.”


Critics have pointed out that while Kate enjoys multiple properties and endless private green space, around one in eight UK families have no access to a garden. Still, the Princess insists that everyone can connect with the earth ‘even in a small way’, and suggests those without a garden could perhaps plant a flower in an old yogurt pot, lean out of a window and squint at a patch of municipal grass, or take a walk along a dual carriageway verge. Alternatively, they could buy a castle surrounded by several acres of land, or marry someone with ‘Duke’ in their name.


The Royal Family insist that their estates are managed ‘for the benefit of the nation’ - with the nation’s benefit defined as members of the public being allowed to look at pictures of HIghgrove in glossy coffee-table books, download a high-definition Balmoral screensaver, or gaze wistfully at Sandringham from the nearest bus stop.

Meanwhile, many of us will have to make do with admiring Kate’s beloved countryside from behind a fence before being escorted back to the car park by security, or stay indoors and watch Kate do it on YouTube.




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