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The Conservative party has suspended the use of court warrants to force entry into yachts and mansions to fit prepayment meters. An undercover investigation by the Times appears to show a group of senior Tory MPs banging on the door of a Mayfair building before a team of locksmiths and accountants force their way inside.


Vladimir Lobamolotov, a single parent oil trader with close ties to the Kremlin, was too frightened to open his door. Once entry had been gained, the accountants connected his bank account to a direct payment meter.


‘I was terrified,’ said Mr Lobamolotov. ‘I said I was having difficulty keeping up my payments to the party, but they had no sympathy. They said if I didn’t pay, I would have no power.’


The Conservative party treasurer said he had absolutely no idea his MPs were breaking into the homes of vulnerable billionaires and has suspended the practice, focusing instead on helping them consolidate their bungs into a more manageable tariff.



image from pixabay



First published 8 Feb 2023


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The signs are there for all to see...


1. The US government has taken to murdering its own citizens

3. The British Royal Family descends into depravity 

3. There is a photograph of Peter Mandelson in his underpants on the front page of the Daily Telegraph



Image credit: Wix AI




Winter Olympics fever - better than Covid and a way to forget Boris Johnson is Prime Minister - has gripped the nation.


Luke Lyle said 'It's even better than the proper Olympics. Determining whether Austria or Norway has the fastest downhill skiers can bring this country together. I don't know why they specify the skiing is downhill, but I've got my cowbell locked and loaded. Plus there's bowls on ice, with added sweeping. Also lying down on a tray, then firing yourself head first down a tube at 200mph. It sounds insane but it's quite safe according to the documentary 'Cool Runnings'.'


Pensioner Eleanor Evans said 'Are Torvill and Dean in it? I like Torvill and Dean.' The Ski Sunday theme tune is already the most streamed song in the UK and will go to number 1 for the duration of the games.




First published 7 Feb 2022


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