Journalists struggling to find metaphors for RAAC crisis

Journalists are struggling to find metaphors to sum up the government's appalling handling of the ongoing RAAC crisis.

One leader writer for The Guardian commented, 'There's just nothing to work with, the government is crumbling over this thing, slowly deteriorating and falling apart and we just can't link it to this failing school infrastructure story. They're probably all pissed at another bring a bottle party'

While another reporter observed, 'We are literally racking our brains on coming up with zingers, I mean what do we know about Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete, we're not engineers who think they're funny.'

A colleague added, 'The Prime Minister has poor support and needs replacing, surely old construction material issues can be combined with that for a catchy one liner. It's so frustrating. '

After several cups of coffee and staring at his blank screen for two hours The Editor finally said: ' I know what about this as our front page? Super-Fragile-Bad-Logistics-Sunak-is-atrocious.'

Portacabin secretly invented RAAC & asbestos

New documents show Britain's crumbling infrastructure, was a deliberate ploy to get us all to move into portable cabins. It is estimated that by 2025, 50% of all people and 99.9% of all pet rabbits, will be living in huts.

In the 80's portacabin sponsored the tv show 'Auf Wiedersehen, Pet' to promote it's glamorous lifestyle. Even Star Wars featured a character Jabba the Portacabin - but who was later renamed for the American market.

Speaking from Stalag 12 Comprehensive, one child remarked: 'The main benefit of flimsy ceilings, is they don't hurt so much when they fall on you.' Portacabin denied putting dangerous material into schools, saying: 'We leave that to the curriculum.'

Photo by Henry & Co. on Unsplash

Student returns to school with piece of artwork created over weekend