Despite having a small, yet unbeatable hand, Ronald Flump has somehow managed to grope defeat from right between the thighs of victory.
When you fire an FBI chief for doing his job and then personally install a wanky sock puppet who will cover up all of the shady stuff you have ever done and wish to carry on doing, and that wanky sock puppet can't protect you from yourself, then the Republican party faithful have a right to consider whether you are fit to be their sex pest of choice.
The mentor who taught Boris Johnson all of the moves to make when the doors come off the clown car, tried to flush incriminating evidence down a nearby toilet. What has really fried the imaginations of the greatest exponents of slapstick, is that having failed to do so, he tried again. On multiple occasions. With toply secret material. Even on visits to hostile nations. 'Why is this still not working? It always does in the cartoons.'
This innovative behaviour has even puzzled the internationally renowned incompetent Mr. Bean who mouthed the words, 'Why did he not use a shredder, and get his tie caught in it like this?'
- Sully
- Jul 21, 2021
Updated: Sep 16, 2022
Passport photos are to show the ‘sex face’ from September onwards, rather than the ‘pissed off face’ currently used as standard.
'The sex face is impossible to forge with current technology', explained a security expert. 'The pissed-off face has been in use for over 20 years and hasn’t kept pace with technological advances. Even the sex face – the most unfakeable of human expressions – will be vulnerable within 5-7 years, after which passports will need to be replaced with increasing frequency as we cycle through the ‘caught on a porn website’ face, the ‘she’s nicer than my wife’ face and the ‘trapped my pubic hair in the zip’ face.