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Study finds half of UK adults believe crumbs that fall into toaster ‘just disappear'


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A new study has shown that 53% of UK adults believe the crumbs which fall into their toaster simply disappear without a trace.


'It’s like cremation, isn’t it?' suggests participant Lee Halsall, 'Or when something falls through the barbecue grill. Gone forever.'


Lead researcher Stella Holmes explains: 'This study provides further evidence that we are not teaching our children the practical skills they need to be effective in life. We badly need educational reforms to introduce courses like financial literacy, critical thinking and object permanence.'


It remains to be seen what purpose, if any, those in the ‘disappear’ camp believe a toaster’s crumb tray serves. Unfortunately Mr. Halsall could not be reached for further comment as his toaster had inexplicably caught fire.


Author: Stu Horgan


image pixabay/PublicDomainPuictures



First published 24 Oct 2021


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“Everyone does it” statement failed to be backed by actual evidence


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After confidently stating the well-known phrase, a man was held to account as passers-by requested proof that this was indeed the case. Needled for empirical data provided by respected research establishments, the backtracking individual then badly misused the expression “it’s just common knowledge”.


When contacted, independent survey professionals confirmed that they had no results to back up this claim and even after carrying out an appropriate questionnaire with a reasonable sample size they could only find a negligible amount of people who confessed to “doing it”. This was later classified as zero when the margin of error was considered.


It is possible that the statement was made to justify the man’s own horrible actions and opinions, however this is just speculation, and we are awaiting the results of the official enquiry. Furthermore, the phrase “They are all the same” was deemed to have been made by the accused without any facts to substantiate it or collaborative witness statements.


An already agitated crowd then turned their frustration on an individual with no real understanding of proverbs who said, “Not to worry, it is just a few bad apples.”

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