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The globally admired and highly respected Ukrainian Premier Volodymyr Zelenskyy met with someone not even respected by his own hand-picked fawners.


'It is so sad what is happening to your country at the moment,' said Zelenskyy.


Still having a glorious giggle at pretending to be the UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak proudly showed some special grass to Zelenskyy which wasn't brown from all of the shit flowing through England.


'We will do whatever we can to help. We've already supplied a Eurovision Song Contest to the UK, but you somehow managed to fuck that up as well,' continued the straight-talking Ukrainian leader, doing more to level up the North in one moment than five consecutive Conservative governments.


'After we have defeated Vladimir Putin and ended all of your excuses for why your economy is worse than Russia in wartime, we will show you how to quickly achieve sustained growth and economic stability for Brits with a simple revolutionary plan of joining the EU.'


image from pixabay




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In the same helpful way your grandfather teaches you to inject heroin into your eyeballs, a benevolent UK is sending cancer to the Ukraine. By exporting toxic waste in bullet form, the British are ensuring Ukraine has a bright future - glowing fluorescent green.


Defending his scorched earth policy, the UK Defense Minister said: 'The only way we can defeat Russia is with generations of birth defects. Putin won't want to stay if all the babies are too horrific to look at.'


A Moscow spokesperson remarked: 'This is fiendishly evil...kudos!'




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